mizmich's Diaryland Diary

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So so stuck

I have been planning to set the right foot this time round, and start off the right way.
Maybe I'm too paranoid about trying not screw up, and i'll be so dead on trying to make things right.

Its not like this you know. I've never felt this way before(or so i think).
I just dont want to screw things up anymore.

Jane said she was worried I might have gotten into the wrong course because I was saying how I couldn't draw to save my life.
And then I see my groupmates and their sketches.
Then I think about how paranoid I'm acting. Planning to research for my next individual presentation before the teacher briefed us on anything.
And lynn says she can tell that I'm damn scared about my work and i'm working too hard for my own good..

Its not that my groupmates arent good you know.
In fact we're going along not bad.. but its just that, maybe we all should just pay more attention to what each of us are saying/doing because things can get a little frustrating at times.

its so confusing as to explain how I'm feeling because I don't feel right.
I'm afraid I'm gonna lose some part of myself along the way.

This feeling just grips you and then you just wanna scream all sorts of profanities but you just gotta keep your cool because THERE'S NOTHING you can put the blame on.
Maybe its just me but this whole poly thing is like a sticky situation.
Like I'm walking on blindly, not knowing a single shit.

Carin says we should be related.. yeah maybe we should.
We're like comfort buddies or telepathic buddies or something.

ok i'm out man. gotta wash my face.
Man, life sucks sometimes huh

11:24 p.m. - 2007-05-01

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