mizmich's Diaryland Diary

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There's bound to be

They tell you life isn't smooth-sailing, but nobody knew you'd go downhill wouldn't you?
Just when you thought one of the best things on earth happened to you, life never fails to surprise us in the many cruel and mocking way.

I hope this would be the worse ever because even I don't believe this is happening.
Whats going on with the education system.
Or is it just a plain insult on pupils who do average?
There's always bound to be a "not-good-enough" group of people and its sad that no one preferable caters to them.

I've turned mellow on the inside ever since I've gotten my first ultimate setback this year, and maybe I could predict my future through my dreams.
The pit seems like a neverending one and I hope to just stop already because it get can downright discouraging.

Even hanging out with my dearest Jane and loserish Gab at his place with his OG mates didn't make anything better.
I couldnt laugh or smile sincerely.
Maybe this is the side of sadness that I don't see all the time.
Or maybe I'm just too optimistic for my own good(dont make sense do i)

I tell myself to "leave it all to fate" but somehow, it seems that fate and I are having a relationship gone soured.

But having these surprising and shocking setbacks definitely taught me along the way..
I'm not going to have high hopes anymore.
I know its silly not to do so, but the lower you aim, the lesser the disappointment don't you think so?

Maybe I would suffer the side effects of not having great goals (eg. not pushing self) but I'm being very fragile right here now.
I don't know why things went the way it was but I didn't think my results are THAT bad that i have to go with my last resorts.
And it isn't very nice, in fact, its getting a little tiring.

Sometimes I wonder if flying off that overhead bridge would give me a sense of freedom and joy(yes I'm curious about flying but not suicidal) but I know the people around me brings me much more smiles and joys.

Meeting my darling OG7 today definitely opened up my heart and I didn't feel so anti-social anymore.
I just want to stick in my shell all the time you know.
People I met for the first time say I'm noisy even though I'm not even being myself and being at ease, and I think they must be mad.
They haven't met enough people yet i guess.

Its really sad things had to go this way.. but I really don't think I can meet any other bunch of people like my OG7.
As cliche as it sounds, but I really feel really really super duperly glad that they've entered my life, its like a miracle isn't it.

Where am I going to find people who can be just as retarded and relate on the same level of humour?
Laughing at mannequins with absolutely no meaning behind it?
Doing daring things like walking at least 2 stories high on the narrow wall just to get to some bus stop nearby?
Mahjong anyday and anywhere?
Soccer anyday and anywhere?
Guys who are so ever patient with the girls (and definitely vice versa ha)

You know, i can go on forever about this gang but my bed is beckoning me towards it.

Oh yes, and thanks to everyone who were comforting me especially my molula(i like it even though it doesnt make any sense).
Always there till grannies huh.

Flight to Japan tomorrow and I'm lucky for this break to get me away from all of this.
Beautiful scenaries and awesome food and icy snow(cant wait to make a snow angel).

Can you save me from this world of mine
Before I get myself arrested with this expectation

12:34 a.m. - 2007-03-08

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